Just Breathe
by alaricnomad
Summary: Scott and Shelby strive to be closer, but their pasts continue to get in the way. COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1: My Fears I Feel

**Just Breathe**

By Dan'yu

**Chapter One: My Fears I Feel When I'm With You**

Kisses, touches…ravaging lips…seeking hands…burning body heat…irresistible passion. Shelby moaned softly as Scott leaned further into her, his fingers tangling through her hair as he sought her lips in another kiss. She opened to him immediately, falling into the heady ecstasy she could never seem to deny whenever he touched her, ignoring the way the bark of the tree they hid behind bit into her back as he pressed into her. Instead, she savored the new proximity, overwhelmed by the feel of his body against hers.

It was incredible, really, the way he could make her feel, in those moments when she became oblivious to anything but him, feeling nothing more than Scott all around her, filling her senses; his lips, his hands, his body, his scent, the husky whisper of his voice in her ear. It was him, all him, only him.

They parted reluctantly only at the need to breathe, and Scott whispered her name as he trailed his mouth downward in a trail of light, feathery kisses, reaching a particularly sensitive spot just above her collarbone, guaranteed to have her weak in the knees. He gently bit down, and then ran his tongue over the tender flesh, feeling her tremble against him. He leaned further into her, angling his body to lie fully over hers, and Shelby gasped, startled, as she felt the hard evidence of his want press against the apex of her legs.

"S-Scott," she barely managed to moan his name before his mouth clamped over hers once more, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, demanding but gentle. She linked her arms around his neck, locking her legs around his waist as she levered herself upward to come closer, even closer, and the feel of him pressed intimately against her sent pinpricks of pleasure coursing through her body.

They broke apart once more and his lips were at her ear, something oddly sensual about his hot, panting puffs of breath brushing against her skin. "Shelby, I want you."

The words had the same effect as a sudden dousing of ice-cold water, as she jerked away from him, her eyes wide, fearful; as she pushed him back with all the strength she could muster. Scott stumbled back, staring at her with bewilderment. "Shelby?"

_"C'mon baby, I'll pay any price. You know I want you."_

Shelby shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. on out, baby. Where're you hiding? You know I want you, kitten. I'm not in the mood for games."

She squeezed her eyes shut, taking in a deep breath in hopes of regaining some composure. She opened them once more, the lines between past and present blurred before her eyes, and she forced herself to focus on Scott's face, Scott's hurt but understanding face. Her rejection might hurt him, but her distance he understood. Her heart hurt at the soft, sympathetic, lost look in his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I got carried away. Are you okay?"

She nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak.

He stared at her, torn emotions blanketing his face, for he was always the readable one these days, the one who wore his heart on his sleeve, the one whose face served as a mural to his inside workings. She was the stonewall, the cold one, the distant one. Even with all the barriers she had allowed him to tear down, so many more remained between them.

He reached out to her, intending to take her hand, and then he hesitated, unsure whether he could touch her or not. "Are you sure? You don't look okay? Want to talk about it?"

Scott. He was Scott. The Scott she loved, the Scott who loved her, the same Scott who wanted to touch her because of that love, who wanted to feel her, to be with her, because of that love. Scott, not Walt, not one if those nameless, filthy pigs she let touch her so long ago to ensure she could eat. Scott. Her Scott. Her Scott who loved her, really loved her. Scott.

She shook her head, reaching out to catch his hand, their fingers tightly enlacing. She tried to smile at him, though the expression came out forced and wan. "Nah, that's alright. It's just me, freaking out. I'm good, really."

Scott eyed her dubiously. "You don't want to talk, that's fine. But you shouldn't pretend just for me. Not with me, Shel. You and me, we're honest, right? That's the way it should be between us."

Her sweet golden boy. Her smile, this time, was a little more genuine, taking on a seductive edge, sauntering toward him once more, breathing in his clean, masculine scent as it wrapped around her as surely as his embrace the more she closed the distance between them. "Hey, I'm sorry I freaked. You don't have to worry about me, cowboy. I'm a big girl."

The familiar nickname earned a faint smile from him, fading quickly as a strangled sound, somewhere a protest and a groan, tore from his throat when she boldly cupped her hand over the bulge in his jeans. "S-Shelby!"

She smiled sweetly, squeezing him gently, earning a ragged moan. "I shouldn't leave you high and dry, now should I, cowboy? We ought to do something about that."

Every word that escaped her mouth, every gesture and suggestive smile made her feel even more detached, distant from herself, even as the faint thought that she wanted to please him entered her mind. She had felt this before, the floating, detached sensation that felt like she separated from herself, letting her body work on automatic. She had felt it every time a man touched her more than innocently, every time Walt took her, every time she turned a trick. She had never felt that way with Scott before, always felt right there whenever he touched her.

Revulsion turned her stomach, but she quickly pushed the sensation away. It wasn't Scott's fault she was freaking out so badly, it wasn't his fault she wasn't just like any other teenage girl. God, she was pathetic, a wimp who couldn't get even be with her boyfriend because her bastard of a stepfather used to touch her the wrong way. God, she was a mess.

Scott's mind went into overdrive, clouded and reeling, only dimly aware as she knelt before him, felt the heat left by her touch as she smoothed her hands up his legs, stroking his thighs in light, teasing caresses. It wasn't until she reached for the button of his jeans that he saw the look in her eyes. Empty. Distant. Pained.

He reacted instantly, reaching down to grab her wrists, jerking her upward to her feet to pull her into his arms. Initially, instinctually, she fought against him, pummeling his chest, landing a well-aimed kick to his groin that had him grunting and wanting to double over in pain, but he held her securely, and eventually her struggles faded into shaking, the bitter oaths she muttered under her breath changing into sobs.

They hit the ground, his knees buckling under him, but he held her tightly as he took the brunt of the impact, pulling her into his lap, cradling her against his body. She suddenly felt so small in his arms, trembling as she cried, soaking his shirt through with salt of her tears. He stroked her hair, murmuring in her ear, all the reassurances he could muster.

"Shel, it's okay, I'm here. I'm here with you. I'm not going anywhere." He pressed a light kiss to her temple, gently rocking her. With time, the convulsions quieted, and she lay almost limply against him, still and silent as the heavy warmth of the summer afternoon around them. She stirred, and he tightened his arms around her even more, if that was possible, brushing away the hair shielding her eyes, kissing away the moisture remaining on her beautiful, tear-soaked face. He held her face in his hands, tilting her head to face him. "Shelby, don't lose yourself for me. Not like that. If you're not ready, we're not ready. There's no need to push, alright?"

She nodded, hesitantly opened her eyes to look up at him, her eyes vulnerable but her smile tinged with a hint of her old sass. "Thanks, cowboy, for knowing what I need."

He smiled quietly, kissing her forehead. "Anytime. Just returning the favor."

She laughed softly and smiled, placing her hands over his as she kissed him gently, leaning her forehead against his. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Just being yourself, Shel. Just being yourself."

_End Chapter One_


	2. Chapter 2: Day by Day

**Just Breathe**

By Dan'yu

**Chapter Two: Day by Day**

Half an hour later, they made their way into the dining hall, hand in hand, meeting the familiar chorus of wolf whistles and snide remarks from the Cliffhanger table with averted eyes and shy smiles. Scott looked up at her with that same shy, endearing smile and she found herself returning it, rolling her eyes at their friends' display as they made their way to the food line.

Scott moved to release her hand and found she refused to relinquish her hold, glancing back at her with a quizzical look. Shelby refused to meet his eyes directly, but he must have found his answer, for he only smiled and turned his head back around, squeezing her hand reassuringly as he grabbed a tray and tried his best to maneuver with only one hand. As stupid as she felt at inhibiting him, Shelby felt immensely relieved at his understanding.

Strange as it sounded, even that simple touch reminded her of how much she needed Scott beside her. He was her anchor, her rock among the chaos her past subjected her to, her reassurance in the storm that raged inside. In the past, their difficulties had been many, most of them centering on her inability to open up and Scott's aversion to fully accepting her past. Despite their challenges, Scott fully embracing her for who she was had pushed aside her doubts and inhibitions, allowing her to accept his love and all it had to offer: the passion, the affection, and his protection.

These things he conveyed so easily, a simple brush of his hand against hers, a glance in her direction, the sweet smile that had her melting inside. He made her feel safe, he made her feel loved, much more than anyone in her life ever had. Sappy as it sounded, no matter how pathetically sentimental or soft she felt to admit it, it was the way he made her feel, and it was something she would never change.

Somehow, they both managed to wrangle their dinner onto their treys and together they made their way toward the Cliffhangers' habitual table, taking their seats in the chairs set aside for them, a little apart from the rest so they could easily focus on each other and still be part of the rest. Scott scooted his chair even closer, tucking their joined hands beneath then table to rest on his thigh, his foot hooking around her ankle. She looked at him in bewilderment but he only smiled softly, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they sat close enough to just barely edge the lines of propriety that could land them in kitchens or shuns.

The warmth soaking through his jeans a strange sensation against her hand, his leg entwined with hers, their thighs touching, Shelby felt that strange fluttering in her stomach she had come to associate with close proximity to him. He made her feel good, there was no denying that, but he also confused her to no end. Then again, his odd behavior was taking effect, as she felt the tension and disconcertion slowly melt away, the tightly wound coils of stress inside unwinding to release whatever pent-up frustrations nagged at her mind.

"So," Daisy's voice broke through her reflections, "Were either of you planning on joining us back on planet earth anytime soon?"

Beside her, Ezra chortled and continued with the ribbing, "I don't know, Dais, Mission Control might not find them, they're so far gone."

Shelby sent an irritated glare in their direction, though the expression inevitably softened as she heard the good-natured laughter rippling through the ranks.

"Hey," Auggie piped up from his place on the other side of the table, surprising most of them by speaking since he had previously seemed wrapped up in his own world with Juliette, "Lay off them a bit. They just got off shuns, they don't need bull from us too."

Scott grinned at him gratefully. "Thanks, muchacho."

Auggie shrugged, his indifferent response betrayed by the smile that played at his own lips. "No prob, meat. We gotta look out for each other as much as we do our girls."

"I hear you, man," Scott replied and they bumped fists across the table.

"How Neanderthal," Daisy commented dryly, "Protect our own, protect our women."

"I think it's sweet," Juliette countered, turning toward Auggie with a brilliant smile, causing the boy to glance at her questionably before she leaned over and whispered into his ear. Auggie's face colored and he cleared his throat awkwardly, turning his attention back to his food as Juliette giggled softly and squeezed his arm. "You're too cute sometimes, Augusto."

"Please," David said sneeringly from the corner, speaking for the first time that evening, "Spare me the couple mush. Anymore and I might become reacquainted with my dinner."

"Shut it, Ruxton," came several voices, Auggie and Scott's being the most prevalent. David pouted for a moment, slumping down in his chair as he picked at his foot sullenly. Of those who had returned to Horizon after summer break a month before, David had been the one to fall the most back into his old ways, erasing whatever progress he had made with the group before leaving. Leveling his time between jerky comments and pranks, he did little to redeem himself in the eyes of the Cliffhangers', and he had yet to talk to either Peter or Sophie.

Shelby smiled to herself, knowing it was only a matter of time before the guy cracked. Even she, known once upon a time as Shelby "Stonewall" Merrick, had eventually come around, though it had taken near disaster to break down the last of her defenses.

"Don't mind him, Princess," Shelby said flippantly, "His head's too far up his butt to see the light of day."

The table went quiet for a moment, and then the silence was broken by the loud clatter of a fork hitting the table and Ezra suddenly went ghostly pale, wheezing for breath dramatically as he clutched at his chest. "Oh-my-god," he croaked, drawing out each word, "Am I delusional or is there something in the Jell-O?"

Daisy sighed and reassuringly patted his hand. "A combination of both, dear," she placed a sarcastic emphasis on the endearment, "But I think you should explain yourself before the good people staring at you call the big, burly men with the straightjackets."

Ezra blinked and he looked around the table, taking in each flat-eyed stare being directed toward him. He held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "Hey, don't take it out on me for pointing out an obvious sign of the apocalypse approaching. Is it just me or was Shelby just semi-nice to Juliette?"

With that, all eyes swung first in Shelby's direction, then to Juliette, and back to Shelby. Shelby squirmed in her chair, uncomfortable with the sudden attention. "What?" she snapped, "I can't be in a good mood once in a while? I'm not a bitch all the time."

David opened his mouth to comment, but the moment he did, Scott, who had been buttering his roll, jerked his head upward and pointed the plastic knife in his direction. "One word, Ruxton, and I personally rip out each of those pearly whites you use with that stupid grin of yours."

"Alright, alright, Scotty boy, just calm down. Nice gruesome imagery there. Remind me not to cross you when you're armed with kitchen cutlery."

"I told you not to call me that," Scott spat out, and Shelby felt the sudden tension in his body. She reached a hand behind his neck and soothingly rubbed, kneading gently at the tense muscles. He leaned into her touch and murmured a few words of gratitude, favoring her with his infamous soft smile. She tried not to think about the way her heart skipped a beat.

She listened to the ongoing conversation around them and leaned a little more into Scott's side, resting her head against his shoulder, watching his face contort into a disgusted expression as he picked at his food. He leaned toward her and whispered loudly, "Do you think we'll get in trouble if we try to bury it?"

Unable to stop herself, she breathed out a laugh, and the others turned to them curiously, observing Scott's disgusted inspection. A tray of a foreign gray substance as the main entrée, a carton of milk, limp green beans, rubbery cherry Jell-O, and a wheat roll left each of them with doubts.

"Is it just me," Ezra stated, "Or does it more resemble to toxic waste than actual sustenance?"

"I think it's supposed to be tuna casserole," Juliette said, eyeing hers dubiously.

"We've discovered the secret plan," Daisy told them, "When we delightful dysfunctionals become too much to handle, Peter devised a master plan to off us all with toxic cafeteria food."

Her and Ezra fell into a conversation discussing the merits of Peter's supposed extermination plan, the others occasionally throwing out a comment or two, Scott watched Shelby closely. Feeling the weight of his stare, she looked up at him. "What's up, cowboy? Whatcha thinking about?"

"You," he replied lightly, squeezing her hand as he drained the last of the liquid from his milk, not daring to bother with much more on his plate.

"I'm flattered."

"What else would I be thinking about? You're on my mind twenty-four seven."

"I'd call that obsessive."

"Nope," he said softly, glancing around quickly before leaning closer, "That's what I'd call being in love."

_End Chapter Two_


	3. Chapter 3: Needed Reassurance

**Just Breathe**

By Dan'yu

**Chapter Three: Needing Reassurance**

Their foreheads met as he leaned closer, close enough for her to see blue eyes so clear and deep, to feel the warmth of his breath just before his lips pressed to hers in a gentle kiss, soft and warm and just so perfect as she reached a hand behind his neck, tangling her fingers in the fine hair at his nape. Her eyes fluttered closed, and he brought a hand to her face, gently caressing her cheek as he shifted closer, evidently intending to deepen the contact before she heard the distinctive sound of a throat clearing nearby.

Her eyes flew open and she pushed away from Scott, instant dismay filling her as she saw Sophie's face hovering above them. Her mouth was into a firm, stern line, her arms folded across her breasts, but her eyes held an encouraging hint of amusement.

"If I'm not mistaken, you two just got off shuns for the exact same thing," the older woman said smoothly, eying them both, "You're lucky it was me that caught you, and not Peter. I'll let you off with a warning this time, but I catch anything else like this, and it'll be double the chores and another shuns. Capiché?"

They both nodded their agreement, exchanging relieved glances. The group looked at them with a mixture of sympathetic looks and suggestive leers, and when David elbowed him, Scott shot the other boy a dirty look. Sophie shook her head at the teenagers' antics and she walked off toward the kitchens, throwing one last comment over her shoulder, "Don't forget, guys. Group in ten." All of them glad to not be on kitchen or cleanup duty, they all refrained for once from their usual chorus of groans and protests at the mention of group.

--------------------

They all assembled themselves into the lounge, throwing themselves into the familiar circle of chairs and couches, everyone pairing off in their usual way. Shelby relaxed in one of the overstuffed armchairs; Scott perched on one of the arms. Daisy and Ezra took the chair and stool beside them, and Auggie and Jules shared the loveseat across from them. David flipped a chair around and straddled it, folding his arms across the back as he glared at the floor with a bored expression.

Peter entered the room and sat down a few minutes later, rubbing his hands together as he smiled at them. "Alright, let's start here." He picked up the staff and continued, "I think you'll all remember this one. Pass the staff around and make a statement starting with 'when'. Daisy?"

Daisy took the staff, letting her eyes travel carefully over those assembled before her gaze finally settled on Shelby. "When I see the pain in a friend's eyes, I pray that she has someone who knows what she needs." Under her scrutiny, Shelby looked away and shifted uncomfortably, not liking the looks exchanged among the Cliffhangers or the concerned glance Peter shot in her direction.

The staff eventually passed through the group, from Ezra, to David, to Auggie, and then to Juliette. When Jules pressed the staff into her hands, Shelby hesitated for a moment, licking dry lips as she pondered how to word what she needed to say. She tilted her head slightly in Scott's direction, not able to entirely meet his eyes, and began. "When I push you away, it's because I'm afraid to let you close."

Understanding and concern filled Scott's eyes with a tender light, and he purposely brushed his fingers against hers as she passed him the staff, something Peter chose to overlook in light of the strange, emotional undercurrents in their statements.

Scott took in a deep breath. "When you pretend with me, it only hurts us both."

There was a long silence stretching out between them, and they vaguely heard a few words exchanged between the others, but Shelby and Scott only had eyes for each other. It was a kind of silent communication, passing between them without touch, without contact, without vocalization. At Peter's tentative question if anyone had anything else to add, he was only met by mute shakings of heads in the negative.

As the room began to empty, Shelby and Scott followed suit, rising to their feet. Scott caught her hand in his, raising it to his lips. Shelby smiled softly at his gesture of affection and she leaned up to kiss him lightly on the cheek, whispering in his ear, "I'll be okay. Just give me a little time."

And with that, she walked away.

-----------------------

He tried giving her that needed distance, he really did. What he hadn't anticipated was the ache of longing that replaced the contentment he felt whenever he found himself with her at his side. It was strange, to miss her so desperately, when in reality she was only a few feet away at any point of the day.

He stood on the docks, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans as he stared out onto the long expanse of water. A light breeze blew, sifting through his hair, billowing his t-shirt. He closed his eyes, raising his face to the currents of air as he inhaled deeply, taking in the lingering earthy scents of summer. It was almost surreal, to know the summer was slowly fading and autumn was slowly rolling in. Their senior year had just barely begun, and already it was moving by faster than he cared for. Little he could do about it, as he filed away the thoughts for later, letting his mind drift as thoughts of her filled his consciousness.

_He remembered one night, sitting together near the same spot where he stood, not long after the infamous Morp, only a few weeks after the fight that nearly severed the ties between himself and his father, landing him back in the reassurance and safety that was Horizon._

_A single month remained in the school year before they were all to be shipped off for the summer, and they savored that time while they could. That evening, it was each other's company they wanted the most, and they were content with that, wrapped in a tight embrace as they watched the stars, clear and brilliant in the skies above. _

_Nearly in his lap, her head tucked beneath his chin, her back to his chest and his arms around her waist, she sighed softly, tilting her head back to rest on his shoulder, allowing her to look up at him. "Tell me something."_

_He quirked an eyebrow. "Tell you something?"_

_"Hmm-mm. Anything, something you've never told anyone else."_

_He smiled, nuzzling against her neck. "You already know my secrets inside and out."_

_"I know," she said softly, hesitating in a so unlike Shelby fashion that she caught his full attention, all teasing aside as he stared down at her. She touched her hand to his face. "Just…give me something. Maybe then…I can bring myself to talk."_

_"Ah. One of those 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' situations."_

_"Yeah, but without the innuendo." She swatted his arm, struggling halfheartedly as he tilted back her head to kiss her briefly, leaning back as she gave in and settled against him, resting her head against his shoulder as he sighed thoughtfully. _

_"When my parents divorced, I hated them both for breaking my family apart. At least, that's the front I put up, but deep down, I was scared as hell that it was my fault they broke up, that they fell apart because of me. When my dad brought home that skank…I made her my new target, mostly cause my mom was falling apart and I didn't want to cause her anymore stress. So, my dad started leaving more and more often, leaving me alone with her, and when the whole things started…some part of me, really deep down, thought that it was my punishment, for not being strong enough to hold things together. I think that's why I could never bring myself to physically push her away, 'cause if I hurt her, I would only screw up with my father again, and he would hate me like I was sure he did, for breaking up him and Mom. That's messed up, I know, but that's the way it was."_

_"Scott…" She breathed his name, gently pressing a kiss to his chin, then his jaw, combing her fingers through his hair soothingly. "It wasn't your fault."_

_"I know that now." He closed his eyes, took in a shaking breath, and swallowed hard. "Okay. Your turn."_

_Shelby's eyes glazed over as she ducked her head, burying her face in his chest, her fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt. He only held her tighter, locking her slender frame in the warm encasement of his arms. _

_"After what Walt did, after I took off for the streets…I felt so dirty, Scott, like I would never have a chance of being clean again. My body…I felt like I wasn't even part of it anymore, just a piece of soiled flesh for men to use and discard. It stopped being something important, started being something to earn food with. That was all. But then…I met you…"_

_"And things changed," he finished softly, drawing her upward to look him in the eye, brushing back the hair from her face, leaning down to kiss her eyes, her nose, her cheek, and finally, her lips. "You aren't dirty, Shel. You're beautiful. I love you."_

_"Love you too," she whispered, twining her arms around his neck as she kissed him, his heart soaring with elation as she spoke those words to him for the first time. _

Scott sighed, combing his fingers through already agitated hair, tossing his head with frustration. Three days without a word, and already he missed her.

It was no secret to him that he had it bad. He wouldn't trade the world for the feeling of finally loving someone.

Now, if he could only figure out how to be what she needed.

_End Chapter Three_


	4. Chapter 4: Green Eyes

**Just Breathe**

By Dan'yu

**Chapter Four: Green Eyes**

He could only guess he was a truly pathetic sight the next morning as he trudged over to what had unofficially become the Cliffhangers' table, plopping down in his chair while staring blankly down at the tray someone slid in front of him. He blinked in surprise as he looked up to see that that someone was Daisy, who nonchalantly offered him a smile and motioned to the food.

"I haven't seen you eat since lunch yesterday. I know you're worried about her, but that's no excuse."

Beside her, Ezra looked puzzled. "Err, Daisy, no offense or anything, but since when are you so concerned about Scott there?"

Daisy, attention elsewhere as she poked at what appeared to be rubbery scrambled eggs, casually swatted the curly-haired boy in the back of the head. He protested and glared at her, rubbing his head. "What was that for?"

"For being a lot more tactless that I know you can be. It's simple. A certain friend of mine would have my head if I let anything happen to her boytoy in her absence."

Scott's brows raised in question. "Boytoy?"

"I just call them like I see them, jocko," she replied, shooting him an indifferent glance while adding sugar to a strange concoction bearing some resemblance to oatmeal.

"Nice to know some things don't change," he quipped dryly as he obediently turned his attention to his breakfast, shoveling several forkfuls of eggs into his mouth, blanching as he struggled to chew. He finally managed to swallow, draining half his glass of orange juice in an effort to drive away the taste, "Is it just me, or does this stuff get worse each year?"

The table broke out into a chorus of agreement.

Scott halfheartedly munched on his bacon, letting his eyes stray over those assembled at their table, mildly surprised at the continued absence of one member. "So where's Shelby?" he asked Daisy, "It's not like her to miss a meal."

"She's on kitchens."

"Oh."

"Hey, amigo," Auggie commented, "What's the deal with you two anyway? You have a fight or something? You both seemed pretty serious the other night, and kind of quiet since then."

Scott looked at his friend apologetically. "Sorry, man, but it's kind of personal."

Auggie smiled, and nodded his head. "Okay. I can respect that, meat."

Scott, for all his good intentions, could only bring himself to choke down half the meal, his attention elsewhere as he continued to cast furtive glances over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen. Finally, he sighed with defeat, dropping his silverware onto his tray with a loud clatter, pushing back his chair and rising to his feet. He gathered up his tray and muttered a quick apology to his friends, making his way back to the kitchens.

The expression on his face bore a resemblance to a man on a mission.

Juliette shook her head as she watched him going, her expression exasperatedly fond. "Does he remind anyone else of a lost puppy?"

An indecipherable expression crossed Daisy's features. "Do you even see the irony in that reference, considering you called Shelby a dog in heat when it came to him just last year?"

Juliette's face clouded over, and she sighed, her hand entwining with Auggie's. "Things were different then. I was different, Shelby was different. There are a lot of things I wish I could take back…"

"We all do," Daisy said quietly, "But it doesn't hurt to remember, so we can learn from the past."

The group nodded, and the table fell into silence, the quiet echoing with one of their own's sage advice.

----------------

Scott's first reaction as he set his tray aside and entered the kitchen was one of shock, and then blind rage. His fists clenched, the door slammed shut behind him, and all he saw was red.

Shelby stood at the sinks with a dark-haired boy he didn't recognize, both of them washing dishes, but what fuelled his temper was the smile they both shared, the soft sound of Shelby's laughter, and the hand the boy rested so casually on her arm. His jealousy stirred, his temper exploded, and his vision was green.

He stormed forward, his face contorted into an ugly expression of livid anger, grabbing the guy's arm and tore him away from Shelby. He whirled the other boy around and slammed him against the wall, holding his forearm to his throat. The boy flailed and struggled against him, choking against the elbow Scott held to his Adam's apple, "Hey man! What's your problem?!"

"You're my problem! Where the hell do you get off touching my girl?!"

"SCOTT!" Shelby wrapped her hands around his arm, struggling to get him to release the other boy, "Scott, let him go. C'mon, calm down."

He shot her a scathing look, but something in him acquiesced, and he let go of the boy, watching as he fell back against the wall and coughed, wheezing for air.

"Get out of here, Chris. I'll handle this," Shelby told him, albeit a lot calmer than the burning outrage in her eyes reflected. The boy didn't hesitate to obey, quickly glancing at Scott as he scurried out of the kitchen.

The second he had disappeared through the door, Shelby whirled on her boyfriend, baby blue eyes blazing. "What the hell do you think you were doing?!"

"Why was he doing touching you? Where do either of you get off?"

"He was being nice, Scott, I was just talking to him. And you're one to talk! Where do you get off? Don't you trust me at all?"

"Of course I do! It's him I didn't trust!"

"Jesus, Scott! You think I can't stick up for myself? That I'm some little princess who needs your protection? Think again, buddy!"

"Dammit, Shelby!"

"What?!" Their voices had risen in volume with every banter, and now their screaming had attracted a crowd, outside observers struggling among themselves to catch a glance through the window on the door. Shelby found herself oblivious to anything but the boy before her, trying her hardest to wrap her mind around the recent events, finding her outrage and bewilderment greatly outweighed her capacity for understand. "What right do you have to do this to me? What is your problem, Scott? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I'm scared to lose you, alright?" he screamed at her, his face flushed with exertion, unable to hold back the tumult of emotions, "Happy now?" he asked her quietly, his eyes vulnerable in a way she had not seen in ages. Her anger faded, evaporated as suddenly as his initial entrance had been, and she found herself staring no longer at a stranger, but a hurt and pained face, a familiar face, a face she loved.

"Scott…" she sighed, reaching out to him, lying a hand against his cheek, felt the heat of his anger there, the dampness of the sweat at his brow.

"I love you," he said suddenly, closing his eyes as he swallowed hard, "And I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I know you need space, Shel, but you're what I need."

She wrapped her arms around him, and he submitted, sinking into her embrace, burying his face in her hair as he felt the tension fade from his body for the first time in days. As they stood there, clinging to one another, Peter came running through the door, Sophie following close at his heels. Shelby watched as he stared at them, his expression unreadable, though she made no effort to release Scott. If anything, his arms only tightened around her, as did hers as she felt his body shudder against her.

"Shelby," Peter said slowly.

"Yes, my captain?" she asked him, attempting a light-hearted reply, though her tone bore none of her usual playful sarcasm.

"Is everything okay? The students outside said they heard screaming."

Shelby smoothed a hand up Scott's back, tangling her fingers in the fine hair at his nape, gently brushing her fingers along his neck. He finally raised his head, staring blankly at Peter and Sophie, and fixing Shelby with a look that accelerated her heartbeat with its intensity.

She swallowed, and chose to answer for the both of them. "I think we'll be fine now."

Peter nodded, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Alright," the counselor answered, "But I'm coming back for you two in ten minutes. I want you both on dorm restriction for the rest of the night. Okay?"

"Okay," she answered, Scott nodding his consent, and after giving them one last look, Peter and Sophie left the room.

The door swung shut behind them, and then Scott was kissing her, gentle but passionate, yielding but wanting, and she found herself responding as if nothing had ever separated them, and it felt so right, like nothing she had ever experienced before, nothing like it before him.

She came to a resolution then, in her mind, and she knew it would be a decision that would change them both forever.

_End Chapter Four_


	5. Chapter 5: Living By the Moment

**Just Breathe**

By Dan'yu

**Chapter Five: Living By the Moment**

"Scott," she said softly, moaning lightly as he kissed the curve of her neck, pressing her back against the counter, warming her with his body against hers.

"Hmm?" he sighed contently, resting his face in the crook of her shoulder, lazily nuzzling against her neck. It felt so good to be close to her again.

"Meet me outside tonight?"

He drew back, staring at her with stunned eyes. She caught his hand, gripping it reassuringly. Their gazes locked, and he searched her eyes for whatever answer he sought. "Sure," he said finally, seemingly satisfied with whatever he had found, "Just name time and place."

"Utility shed at twelve?"

He nodded his ascent, and she kissed him again, a soft, lingering contact that spoke of everything she could never fully convey. Shelby pressed her lips to his ear, a brush of warm breath whispering across his skin in a way that sent a shiver down his spine. "Bring a blanket or something," she advised softly, "It's supposed to get cool tonight."

He chocked, frozen as she embraced him once more, pressing her face to the crook between his shoulder, breathing in the subtle, masculine spice of him. "Does-does that mean?"

"Yeah, cowboy. That's what it means."

"Shel…" And he breathed her name, unable to find the words he needed to say as he hugged her to him tightly, savoring what time he had left of Peter's limitation.

_I love you…_

----------------

Her nerves were raging as she slipped out of the girls' cabin that night, around ten after midnight, delayed by a concerned Daisy, who after bantering with her for nearly fifteen minutes while failing to open her up, managed to get Shelby to let slip a thinly veiled comment of what that night was to hold. Shelby had ended up climbing out the window, her face flaming as she was followed by the sound of Daisy's soft laughter and a sidelong remark about giving Scott the "talk" if both of them were so nervous.

He was waiting in the shed when she arrived, saying nothing as she closed the door behind her, the small space surprisingly warm despite Mt. Horizon's infamous cool nights no matter the season. In response to the temperature change, she slipped off her jacket and shoes, turning to face him, irritably wondering if was possible the butterflies in her stomach had decided to do the mambo from the way her nerves shot up tenfold at the sight of him.

His hands were tucked in his pockets, his jacket thrown off nearby, and he was avoiding her eyes, looking every bit as jittery as she felt. It did not help matters that the appreciative female couldn't help but notice how good his profile looked, outlined in the amber light spilling from the electric lantern hanging from an old hook.

"Shelby?"

"Yeah?" she responded, unable to get her voice to carry above a hoarse whisper, and though she tried to smile to reassure him, the gesture came out tight and forced, causing her to grimace and him to look at her questionably.

"Are you…are you sure about this?"

She sighed, brushing back stubborn locks of hair, fixing her eyes on him with the same confusion and hesitation he was radiating evident in her expression. "I know I was this afternoon…and now…part of me still is…but another part of me…"

"Is nervous?" he supplied, offering her a wan smile.

"Yeah."

"Me too."

Shelby nodded; sighing again as she wearily pressed her fingers to her temples. Jesus Christ, what was wrong with her? She used to make a living out of seduction, ashamed as she was of it, so what was the problem now?

One word. Scott. He was Scott, and he was everything she had ever wanted, flaws and all, embodied in one guy. That simple fact changed everything.

Lucky her.

"I…I guess we could start with something simple," he said softly, breaking through her reflections, as she looked at him shift his feet awkwardly, reminding her strangely of an adolescent boy asking a girl to a dance.

"What's that?"

"A hug," he responded, holding out his arms invitingly.

She laughed, unable to help herself, relief and fond affection washing over her, as she stepped into his arms, the embrace warm and strong in its familiarity. She had no idea how long they stood there, just holding each other as the thick tension between them eased, replaced by a different kind of spark, a strange curiosity, a fascination, a desire to be closer as she felt him shift, felt him kiss her hair, his hands moving to her hips. And she found herself oddly restless as well, running her hands down his back, enthralled with the play of his muscles rippling under touch, the warmth radiating through the thin fabric of his shirt.

She heard his breath quicken, his heart pounding as she rested her head against his chest, and she knew her body was responding, every nerve on edge just by his proximity as she shifted that much closer. His shirt rode up slightly as she pressed into him, and she ran her fingers along the exposed strip of firm, smooth skin, deliciously warm to the touch, felt him shiver.

The shivers only increased as she pressed a kiss to his neck, just below his ear, a remembered sensitive spot, and his arms tightened around her. She caught his hand in hers, their fingers loosely enlacing and she stepped back, meeting his eyes to voice unspoken questions as she led him back, toward the blankets he had spread on the floor.

Scott swallowed hard, resisting for a moment and rendering them at a standstill as he looked first at her, then the floor, and her again. "I love you, you know that?" It was strange, he thought, that something once so hard to say could come so easily in a situation like this, but it flowed so smoothly now from his lips, knowing them both needed to hear them.

She touched his face briefly, letting her hand drop as she smiled at him. "I do. I love you too, Scott."

"I'm glad."

And this time, as she pulled on his hand, he willingly followed, knowing what awaited them, and strangely, his fears were quieted, replaced only by that need to be closer.


	6. Chapter 6: Learning to Breathe

**Just Breathe**

By Dan'yu

Last chapter, folks. Thank you for all your fantastic reviews. Hmm…I'm both sad and relieved to see this story end, but it is inevitable, so here we are, with the grand finale…Learning to Breathe.

**Chapter Six: Learning to Breathe**

He lay on his side next to her, facing her as he reached out, touching his fingers to the curve of her elbow and then slowly skimming them upward, coming to rest at her wrist to feel the wildly fluttering pulse there. Slowly, not taking his eyes off hers, he lowered his mouth to the same place, a strange thrill ringing through him as he felt the erratic pulsing beneath his lips.

She watched him, enthralled by the strange sensuality of it all, the pleasurable shiver that rang through her at his touch, the intoxicating heat of his mouth. This was the difference, the distinctive line between sex and making love, the slow, sensual, careful way they could take things, things they only thought they knew about each other seeming new and exciting, ready to be rediscovered, dozens of things they never knew waiting to be explored.

Like the strange contrast of sensation that washed over her as he rubbed his cheek against her hand, the paradox created in the way the roughness of his skin, created by the light stubble along his jaw, differed to the softness of his lips as he brushed them delicately against the open palm she laid against the side of his face. Or the silky feel of his hair as she combed her fingers through it, or the intensity that sparked in his eyes as he looked at her, darkened with desire and a deeper, thicker emotion she now knew to be love.

He kissed her, finally, and she was lost, drowning in sensual euphoria…lost to everything but him, his touch, his body, his very presence. They took their time, clothes stripped away piece by piece, hands questing and exploring every enticing inch of skin exposed, and finally, finally, their bodies entwined, pressing close, warming each other with their heat.

_"Scottie…"_

Scott gasped for air, pushing himself upward as he moved away from her, rolling over until he put distance between them, his naked back against the hard surface of the floor. Shelby lifted herself up on an elbow to face him, watching him with bewildered eyes as his wide, frightened eyes stared unseeing at the rafters in the ceiling, his chest violently heaving as he struggled for breath, as if in hyperventilation.

"Scott?" She tentatively reached out, placing a hand against his chest. His skin was warm, almost feverishly hot, but his body trembled as if severely chilled. "Scott, are you okay?"

He nearly leapt away, curling in on himself in a crouching position several feet away from her, wrapping his arms around his knees as he squeezed his eyes shut, taking in a series of shaking, gasping breaths.

"Scott?"

Scott flinched at the sound of her voice, quiet and cautious, gentle and reassuring. He hated the way fear seeped into him, turning his stomach, freezing his body with aching tension. What was wrong with him? What the hell was wrong with him? He hated that he couldn't get over this, that he was reacting this way to Shelby of all people, the one who made him feel safe, wanted…loved.

"Yeah?" With his throat as tight and dry as it was, he was surprised he could choke out any form of intelligible speech.

"Come here." Neither demanding nor questioning, her quiet voice called to him to trust her, to return to her, and he responded, slowly moving toward her, blue eyes hesitantly rising to meet hers as he kneeled beside her.

She touched a hand to his face, making sure never to look away as she gently caressed his cheek, brushing her fingers down the curve of his jawline, the shape of his lips.

"Do you trust me, Scott?"

He exhaled sharply, the harsh expanse of escaping breath seeming to drain most of his tension along with it as he answered her whole-heartedly, without a doubt in his mind. "Completely."

"Then know I love you. You don't hurt someone if you truly love them, right?"

He nodded, and levered over her, unsure for a moment until she took his hand, kissing the palm, sending a jolt of electric energy through his body, straight to his groin, as her tongue teased against his skin.

"Just breathe, Scott. Just let it go."

"Right," he breathed out, complying quietly as she pulled him down to her, to rest atop of her, and slowly his body relaxed, growing more languid, heating with desire as she caressed his shoulders and arms, rained kisses over whatever exposed skin she came into contact with, embraced him lightly so not to scare him but wanting him close all the same. His head swam with the incredible sensuality, and he smiled against her skin as he held her close, beginning to touch her again in return.

She ran her hands down his back, arching against him as he trailed kisses down her neck and shoulder, the swell of her breasts, felt the tautness of hard muscles beneath her fingertips, the desire evident in the male part of him hard and wanting against her inner thighs. Their eyes met, and he favored her with that heart-melting, lazy little grin of his, leaning down to kiss her lightly, just a brush of his lips against hers.

A shadow of memory obscured her view of him, a tangible remembrance of the hot, stinking male body of someone she thought she knew, thought she loved, levering over her, stealing away the innocence she could never get back. Her body jerked beneath him, and she could see the questions creep into his gaze.

Scot drew back only a breath away, whispering fervently, "You okay?"

She breathed deeply, blinking slowly as the strange double vision disappeared, as she was left only with the vision of him above her, his sweetly familiar face etched with concern and love, and she kissed him gently in tender reassurance, watching as they parted and his eyes softened with a different kind of question.

"Ready?"

She nodded and their hands entwined tightly, pressing to the space above their heads as he levered over her, gently parting her thighs as he settled between them. She closed her eyes, twining her arms around his neck, her legs locking around his waist. She hissed in a startled breath at the sensation her body had not known in a long time, quickly transformed into a broken moan, as he pushed forward, filling her, becoming part of her, making them one.

As the moon hung at its peak and the world went on around them, unknowing, they finally, finally, knew what it was to really make love.

**-------------**

They awoke to the gray dawn, the lightest hints of the morning illumination breaking through night's opaque twilight and spilling through the shed's tiny window. Shelby shivered in the cool air of the morning, shifting closer to the warmth of her lover's body, the strong circle of his arms as tender a sensation as the lovemaking the night before, perhaps even more so in the simple but complex intimacy it conveyed.

"H'w long've you been 'wake?" Scott mumbled to her sleepily, tightening his hold on her as he snuggled closer, giving her no chance of escape even if she wanted to.

"Not long. You?"

"'bout the same." He nuzzled against her shoulder, sighing the contentment of the sated and sleepy. She shook her head with amusement, absently combing her hair through his hair, letting the curls sift through her fingers, a soft smile touching her lips as he murmured unintelligibly, leaning into the touch.

"You're like a kid, maybe even a kitten," she told him, still stroking his hair, "I had no idea you were so cute."

"Cute?" he opened one eye to glare at her indignantly, though the expression came out more like a tired grimace, "I am not cute. Sexy, hot, drop-dead gorgeous, yes, but never cute."

"Mister Modesty, huh?"

"Only stating the obvious." And he pulled her atop of him, catching her mouth in a soft kiss, brushing her hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek in his hand. "Though, joking aside, you're still beautiful."

"Naturally," she mimicked, and Scott laughed as he rolled them over and kissed her again, his mouth lingering against hers longingly. She reluctantly pulled away, grabbing his wrist to check the time.

"It's still early. Wake up's not for another hour."

"Good," and he grinned in a way she didn't quite trust, almost wolfishly, "We've still got time then."

"You know if we get caught, it'll be both our butts on shuns 'til grad."

"So we won't get caught." And he silenced her with another kiss, and as their bodies entwined once more in warmth and in love, they made love again, slowly, tenderly, until the inevitable dawn chased away the serene solitude of their rendezvous.


End file.
